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After Dark! A fallen TikTok duo, Chivas get a new Cade Cowell & much more

Welcome back to After Dark. We have the weird stuff.

5 min read

In this series, we capture the same After Dark energy that permeates late-night soccer games in the United States. There’s no shortage of crazy things happening in and around this sport — and we’re bringing some of the most entertaining ones straight to you.

In this week’s After Dark, we have a wild new look, a crushing blow to the internet, and more.

The new Cade Cowell

Cade Cowell has always looked like the villain from a high school surfing movie. Don’t believe me? See for yourself:

I assume Cade Cowell has always looked like a villain from a high school surfing movie, anyway. He entered this world in his current form, ready to bench 225 and deadlift an entire school bus. We don’t have any evidence to the contrary. As far as we know, he’s never experienced anything else but speed, taking a big touch down the line, and constantly tempting U.S. men’s national team fans into thinking he’s going to be the next great American player.

Now, though, after his move to Chivas in Liga MX earlier this week, he's become a multi-faceted character with several new modes.

You want WWE superstar? You get WWE superstar.

It’s the bleached blonde hair. It’s the shades. It’s the bold button-down. It’s…everything. If someone could find a way to get a Jorge Campos-esque Liga MX jersey from the ’90s into this equation, I think we’d really be cooking with gas.

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